Happy Tuesday, founders,

I recently came across a post that said, “Building a personal brand is the highest form of self-love.”

I stopped and read that one sentence a few times.

It’s a fascinating take, and one I think would resonate deeply with people raised under shame-based conditioning. For them, building a personal brand isn’t just about visibility; it’s an act of shedding layers of shame, learning self-acceptance in public view.

I was one of them.

A few years ago, I dreaded the idea of building a personal brand. It felt self-centric, flashy, like a sneaky sales funnel waiting to trap people.

But I always loved the concept of building in public - or as my friend, neuroscientist and author Anne-Laure calls it, learning in public - sharing lessons as you go, posting even the smallest results.

It’s a way of showing the humanity behind the hustle:

“I shipped 25 apps and only 2 made sustainable MRR.”

“My first event had 1 attendee, my third brought in $85k.”

It took me over a year to get ready, to start sharing transparently, writing from a place of truth and heart. Only then did I feel I could offer insights of real value to readers like you.

But… at what point does sharing relatable content cross the line into oversharing, risking your authority or diluting your message?

This week, let’s dive into the psychology of building a personal brand with authenticity, vulnerability, and a sense of truth that actually deepens your leadership.

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The Social Penetration Theory suggests that connections in relationships deepens through self-disclosure, much like peeling an onion - layer by layer.

Gradual, reciprocal self-disclosure builds intimacy and trust. But skipping layers - dumping your deepest fears on LinkedIn or over a casual team call, can trigger discomfort, even distrust.

For founders, this means being intentional about when, where, and how we share. Vulnerability is earned, not demanded.

The paradox? While authenticity matters, great leaders don’t just “be themselves”, they adapt.

Authenticity isn’t dumping every raw emotion on your team or followers. It’s about showing your real self in ways that build connection without eroding authority.

This study found that when entrepreneurs ask questions in online communities with empathy cues, like sharing emotional distress or personal backstory - they tend to receive fewer responses, but the responses are of higher quality.

Why?

Because while empathy cues do trigger prosocial behavior and make others more willing to help, they also increase the perceived emotional and cognitive cost of responding. In simple terms: people are more thoughtful when they feel someone is genuinely vulnerable, but fewer people are willing to take on that emotional “work.”

The study also confirms that empathy mediates this effect, meaning empathy helps offset the extra effort needed to give a thoughtful answer.

🔹 Key takeaway:

In entrepreneurial communities, showing vulnerability can deepen trust and elicit better (though fewer) responses, supporting Social Penetration Theory — but it also raises the bar for how people respond

Here are three powerful ways to be “real” without slipping into performative vulnerability:

Past struggles you’ve overcome - shared with insight and reflection, and how you strategically solve the issue, or come out on the other side a better person.

💡 Example: “I remember when I couldn’t close a single deal. Here’s the framework I used to shift that.”

Small imperfections that remind people you’re real, without self-deprecating your expertise.

This isn’t about confessing your deepest flaws. It’s about sharing relatable glimpses of your human side.

💡 Example: A photo of your scribbled notes with, “This is how our $100k launch started.”

Be mindful with this one. Sharing current struggles can create connection, but only if you’ve moved through them or are sharing the insight in hindsight.

💡 Instead of: “I’m burned out and don’t know where I’m going.”

💡 Try: “Last month, I hit a wall. Here’s what I learned and how I recovered.”

Your audience, whether clients, investors, or followers wants to see a human being they can trust and follow.

But trust grows when vulnerability meets leadership.

Oversharing can feel like emotional dumping.

Performative “authenticity” can feel like manipulation.

But wise, intentional openness? That builds lifelong trust.

📌 They love you, then they hate you: a hidden dynamic at work

📌 You don’t have anger issues - your brain is just fried

📌 The identity trap founders fall into

As always, hit reply if something in here hits home.

See you next week,
Lavena

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