Hi fellow founders,

This weekend, during a long drive as a passenger, I indulged in a mix of books spanning psychology, neuroscience, business, fiction, and even an unexpected read on playwriting. Another night, I found myself obsessively doom-scrolling videos of traditional Chinese sword dance in Wushu. I was this close to impulsively buying a sword - until I remembered the seven neglected hobby gadgets awaiting for my attention. Meanwhile, my schedule is packed with new projects at work, leaving little time for even my existing passions.

As much as this several-book-all-at-once, and multi-hobbies behaviour heavily ‘aligns’ with a classic trait of ADHD (which I wrote about last week - read here if you missed it), I’ve come to see it as something more. There’s a certain liberation in moving fluidly between different ‘versions’ of myself - whether it’s the analytical, creative or curious.

In the early years of building my business, I didn’t allow myself to actively pursue my creative output outside of work. I categorised any time spent outside of growing the business as ‘a waste of time’. This guilt and pressure didn’t just drive me - it pushed both me and my co-founders toward burnout and resentment.

The shameful feeling traces back to childhood. In Year 8, I was called into the office by my teacher to have a serious talk, as I was reading a fiction book unrelated to my studies under my table during break time. Not class. Break time. The Chinese school system were brutal. Fast forward 3 years after I transferred to an international school, I was once again called out - this time by my Chinese literature teacher - for discussing a book outside the curriculum. I was told I had “too much free time.”

But engaging in different fields - whether research, art or play isn’t a distraction. It’s often the main source of inspiration for us to think outside of the box. Pursuing multiple interests sparks creativity, prevents burn out and helps us to develop a full sense of self.

This belief - tying self-worth directly to business success - is deeply ingrained in many founders, and there’s a psychological explanation for it.

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Why we merge our business with our identity

Entrepreneurs often see their business as an extension of themselves. For founders, the business isn’t just a job; it’s a reflection of their values, ambitions, and personal journey. This explains why many entrepreneurs experience an existential crisis when their startup struggles or when they exit their company - it feels like losing a part of themselves.

Many founders also unconsciously link their self-worth to their business success, and this often traces back to early experiences of shame and conditional validation in their home or school environment. When these needs are only validated through work achievements, we begin to equate our worth with productivity and external success.

Shame plays a crucial role in this. Toxic productivity - the belief that rest or non-work pursuits are ‘wasted time’- often originates in childhood experiences where achievement was the primary source of praise and belonging (Brown, 2006). Founders who grew up in high-expectation environments may internalize the idea that failure or non-productivity equates to personal inadequacy, making it difficult to separate self-worth from professional performance.

Psychologists Carl Rogers suggests that self-concept isn’t always aligned with reality, when it’s mismatched between how you see yourself (self-image) and who you wish you were (your ideal self), your self-concept is incongruent. This then negatively affect your self-esteem.

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How to safely separate your identity from your business

For entrepreneurs whose personal identity is closely tied to their brand - whether through personal branding, solving a deeply personal problem, or embodying their company’s mission - detaching self-worth from business outcomes is crucial for long-term fulfilment. Here’s how:

1. Reframe your self-worth beyond work

Psychologists suggest that a multi-dimensional self-concept leads to greater resilience (Linville, 1987). This means actively cultivating other sources of identity - hobbies, relationships, and learning experiences - so that success or failure in business doesn’t define your entire sense of self.

Studies on entrepreneurial burnout (Cardon & Patel, 2015) show that founders who maintain strong personal lives and non-work identities have higher emotional resilience. Entrepreneurs with diverse passions outside of work report greater overall satisfaction and lower stress levels (Shepherd & Patzelt, 2017).

• Practical Step: Schedule non-work activities with the same priority as business meetings. Engage in communities that have nothing to do with work. Dedicate time in hobbies such as music, sports, or creative writing, can also serve as cognitive ‘reset’ activities that boost productivity and well-being (Kaufman, 2013).

• Example: Studies show that individuals with diverse identities (e.g., being an entrepreneur, artist, athlete, or parent) recover faster from professional setbacks because they don’t view failure in one area as a total personal failure (Rothbaum et al., 1982).

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2. Align personal values with brand messaging

Rather than seeing your business as who you are, think of it as a platform for what you believe in. Authentic branding doesn’t mean your personal life and business are the same - it means your company reflects principles that matter to you.

• Example: Instead of branding yourself as your business, create distinct narratives. Think of how Richard Branson embodies adventurous, risk-taking energy but keeps Virgin’s identity separate.

• Practical Step: Define clear boundaries between personal and professional messaging - what values align with your brand, and which are purely personal?

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Final thought: Your business is what you do, not who you are

While passion and personal investment drive founders, they shouldn’t come at the cost of emotional well-being. By intentionally creating space between personal identity and business, we can sustain our creativity, and ultimately lead with more clarity and balance.

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