Happy Tuesday, founders,

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the privilege of spending real, unfiltered time with some extraordinary minds, entrepreneurs with stories that stretch far beyond revenue and roadmaps.

In our conversations, we traced their journeys back to childhood memories, first sparks of ambition, moments of doubt, and the quiet (or chaotic) reasons they chose this path. Through their eyes, often lit up when telling certain chapters, I became more and more intrigued by a single theme:

The power of the stories we tell ourselves.

And how those internal narratives quietly shape not just the direction of our path, but the pace of our progress.

One of my biggest curiosities right now is this:

What truly powers the motor at the core of a founder?

Is it fear? Is it a desire to serve? Is it the chase for significance, the need for control, the hunger to matter?

And if so, can we isolate, amplify, even manufacture those inner forces to drive external success? Could we map the three most important internal factors that correlate with financial breakthroughs? Or pinpoint the internal stories that are silently holding us back?

Because maybe, just maybe, the biggest limits in our business aren’t strategic.

They’re our narratives.

So what happens when we change the story?

Does everything change?

This week, I’m diving into that idea. Through the lens of cognitive narratology and narrative therapy, to explore how founders can not only evolve their story but also watch old versions of themselves die off, giving birth to a more aligned, resilient, and visionary self.

Let’s begin.

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All of us have a story.

But not the “about page” kind, the internal script.

Cognitive scientists call this narrative identity: the subconscious story you tell yourself about who you are, what you’re capable of, and what kind of life you’re allowed to live.

It’s how your brain organises chaos into meaning. We’re wired to crave story arcs: beginnings, turning points, resolutions. Even when none exist.

And like any script, it could endlessly limit us.

These aren’t facts, they are stories that calcified into beliefs and hold us back.

Narrative identity is a concept rooted in psychology and cognitive science, coined by philosopher Paul Ricoeur, and further developed by psychologist Dan P. McAdams. It refers to the internalised, evolving story we tell ourselves about who we are - one that integrates past events, present values, and imagined futures into a coherent whole.

Studies in cognitive narratology and narrative therapy show that the brain naturally seeks patterns and story structures to make sense of self and experience (McAdams, 2011; Neimeyer, 2004). In fact, researchers have found that individuals who can construct more coherent, redemptive personal narratives, where struggle leads to growth, tend to show higher psychological well-being, resilience, and motivation (Adler et al., 2016).

Narrative therapy, developed by White & Epston (1970s), builds directly on this insight. Rather than diagnosing dysfunction, it treats identity as a flexible story that can be externalised, examined, and re-authored. We learn to identify "problem-saturated" stories, often shaped by early roles, traumas, or societal scripts, and consciously rewrite them into more empowering frameworks.

This isn't abstract. Every pivot, rebrand, or comeback is a form of narrative repair. The business evolves, but often, the deeper shift is internal: a new story of who they are and what they’re here to do.

A friend of mine built a successful B2B SaaS company after a string of brutal personal and professional failures. On paper, he’d turned it all around - the startup was scaling, the team was solid, and he’d just closed a Series A.

But he still felt like an impostor - broke and underestimated, trying to prove everyone wrong.

His teenage life had been full of chaos - bankruptcy, rejection, family fallout. Somewhere in there, he internalised a script: “I win by outworking the fall.” It worked. Until it didn’t.

Eventually, the survival story started to cost him. He was burning out, micromanaging, and feeling more like a firefighter than a founder.

But when that old narrative loosened, when he started shifting from “I survive by staying hungry” to “I lead from wholeness”, things changed.

He delegated. Took weekends off.

The company didn’t just grow, it became more aligned with his values. And he stopped building as a form of self-defence, from a place of fear.

The company didn’t just grow. It started reflecting who he was, not who he was trying to outrun.

That’s narrative identity at work. Not mindset fluff, identity architecture.

Change the story → change the strategy.

Start here:

Sometimes that role becomes a whole identity:

The Fixer. The Caretaker. The Underdog. The Martyr. The Outsider.

You didn’t choose it.

But you’ve been rehearsing it ever since.

Take it out of your body and onto the page. Write it like it belongs to someone else:

Remove the blame, create the distance, because distance creates agency.

Now ask the harder questions:

Let the answers be messy.

Every one of us is shaped by our own internal story we tell ourselves. Often, the same internal narrative that fueled early growth becomes limiting as the company (and the person) evolves.

Some of us are stuck in Act II, others are afraid to end the chapter. We often don’t realise we are both the author and the editor.

Here’s the quiet power of narrative work:

And when you do, the company grows from a place of clarity, not reactivity or compulsion.

And when that shift happens, not just intellectually but emotionally, it often creates space for a different kind of leadership.

One that’s less reactive, more grounded, and far more sustainable.

📝 What’s one belief about yourself that once kept you safe - but now holds you back?

Hit reply. Let’s rewrite it together.

Yours in conscious leadership,
Lavena

P.S. Check out more on what we do at Insane Media here. If you want to connect, stalk, or trauma dump, here’s where you can find me. If you want to get a founder feature about your own story, reply to this email. If you’d like to reach our newsletter audience (founders, creators, and marketers), click the button below.

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