To everyone new this week: welcome. You being here means more than you know. Knowing it lands with someone like you keeps me going.
I'm Lavena Xu-Johnson. I write about psychology for founders. Because scaling a business means scaling ourselves first.
Happy Wednesday, founders,
October's flying by!
The weeks are just zooming past (wild, right?). I wonder how you're all navigating team dynamics, boundary traps, and maybe spotting those patterns that drain your energy.
I wanted to resurface a few essays you might've missed that dig into exactly that. Below are 5 editions - each one unpacking the team dynamics, boundary challenges, and psychological patterns that shape how we lead, relate, and stay grounded as founders.
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In case you missed it:
Rejection isn't something we avoid as founders - it's a daily workout. Why our brains process rejection like physical pain, and how intentionally seeking it out can rewire our sensitivity.
Being the helper feels like good leadership - until you realize you've trained people to depend on you. How blurred boundaries drain energy, erode team autonomy, and turn every "yes" into an expectation you never agreed to.
Bad news sticks longer than good, and suddenly every competitor feels like a threat. How constant negativity rewires your perception as a founder - and the simple reset to recalibrate before paranoia takes over.
When blame becomes your default, it feels like accountability but actually makes people hide mistakes instead of fixing them. How the persecutor role kills psychological safety, breeds defensiveness, and the practical shifts to break the cycle.
Co-founder conflict kills more startups than product issues. Building lasting founding teams takes the same work as lasting marriages - knowing each other's stress triggers, keeping a 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio in conflict, and responding to small connection bids before resentment builds.
As always, hit reply if something in here hits home.
Until next week,
Lavena
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